Lorraine LePine: I was there

I want to share with you a reflection I have written as I put myself in the story of Luke 23 -  the moments surrounding the crucifixion of Jesus.

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Looking back over my life, I would say that I have often been an onlooker – standing at a bit of a distance from the action, because to get close would mean making a commitment one way or another!

So at the time of Jesus’ crucifixion, I was definitely in the ‘onlooker’ camp. Surrounded by some of the crowd who shouted ‘Crucify!’, followers of Jesus who huddled together in the distance and women who were wailing and weeping... I stood watching, waiting and wondering. I was not even sure what had drawn me to this time and place with its horror and pain and ugliness, but there I was.

I noticed there were three men being crucified.

Two of them were known to be criminals - but what about the third person?

I’d heard His name was Jesus - the miracle man?

Why should he be crucified?

Why was he condemned to die?

I heard people sneering at Jesus – mocking him, hurling insults at him. ‘If…’ people were saying ‘If you are who you say you are – the Christ, of God, the chosen One, the King of the Jews – do something! You’ve saved others – now save yourself!’

Someone even shouted 'Save us!'

Save us!

I found myself pondering ‘What do they mean, ‘save us’? How could someone condemned to die be the answer to that plea?’ Then all of a sudden, in the midst of the crowd’s noise and attitude and agitation, I became aware that a conversation was taking place between the three men on their crosses.

One criminal was cursing Jesus. He repeated the jeers of the crowd – ‘Some Messiah you are! Save yourself! Save us!’

He seemed angry; confused; disappointed – it seemed he felt Jesus had let him down in some way. Then the other criminal spoke to him: ‘Don’t you fear God? Don’t you know that we are getting what we deserve for our crime, our wrongdoing? But Jesus ... he hasn’t done anything wrong!’

Something stabbed at my heart. He – Jesus – he hasn’t done anything wrong! ‘He is getting what we deserve,’ the criminal had said. I kept looking and listening – as the second criminal spoke again – this time turning towards Jesus Himself. ‘Jesus,’ he said, ‘remember me when you come into your kingdom.’

Jesus lifted his head – just a little – and turned towards the second criminal, gazing at him as if there was no one else present and no one else in the world mattered. ‘Today,’ Jesus spoke, ‘today you will be with me in Paradise. That’s the truth, you will be with me!’

I wept.

I wept. In my heart I knew this was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen or heard. The One who was getting what he did not deserve, in the moment of his deep pain and anguish, was reaching out to the one who deserved everything he was getting. Jesus was gifting him LIFE in that moment – even as he faced certain physical death. Such love – such mercy - such grace.

I needed no further invitation or revelation to realise that I did not want, any longer, to be just an onlooker to the story and person of Jesus. I too wanted to hear the words – ‘I tell you the truth – you will be with me forever.’ And I knew in my heart that all I needed to do was to offer the prayer ‘Jesus, remember me, and grant me your mercy and grace that I might have LIFE, that I might become your child today.’

In spite of all the noise and confusion and ugliness and turmoil around me and the shame and fear of my past and the present that I carried within me, in that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of being loved and forgiven. I knew Jesus had heard my prayer. My life has never been the same since.

The Bible says: ‘This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.' (John 3:16)

‘But to all who receive Jesus, he gives the right to become children of God. All people need to do is trust him to save them.’ (John 1:12)

This truth still stands today. It stands in this moment.

My own hope

My personal story is that one day as a 13-year-old, I whispered the prayer, ‘Jesus, be everything to me.’ I heard - in my heart and spirit - Jesus respond ‘Today, you are mine. Today, you are forgiven. Today, you are loved. Today, you are my daughter.’

And today, many years on, I continue to live in the mercy and grace Jesus offered me in that moment. No longer an onlooker, but a child of God.

You see, what seemed in Jesus’ death to be defeat and loss was, in fact, victory and gain for all those who believe. ‘Save us!’ the people called out. Jesus can save us from the darkness and despair of being far away from God, and He invites us into a relationship with Himself that will last forever, and that will bring us LIFE. 

That’s the truth.

Do you believe? 

By Major Lorraine LePine